You Are My Heaven
by babybunnyunicornsparkles
Summary: After a car accident puts Caroline into a coma, Dean makes a deal with the crossroads demon. He only has one year left, but Caroline is determined to save his life. But will she succeed?
1. Chapter 1: Chasing Stars

**Disclaimer**: The only thing that's mine is my over-active imagination. The main plot idea isn't even mine, it belongs to 00shelly77 of youtube, creator of a brilliant Dearoline video called I Had To Look Out For You. You should check it out.

**Note:** For plot purposes, Caroline Forbes is human throughout this story.

* * *

"Dean! I swear to God, if you don't…" Caroline's squeals were interrupted with fits of giggles. Her sides ached from the constant attack of her boyfriend's relentless fingers, sneaking into the most ticklish of spots right beneath her ribs, despite her adamant protests. She wiggled beneath his touch, the pressure of his hips on top of hers keeping her firmly underneath him. Not that she minded that position too much. The scent of worn leather mingled with her sweet perfume in the hot Georgia summer air.

It just caused Caroline's heart to beat even faster as she struggled, the grin on her face defusing any objections she might make.

She'd been practically aching for his touch since the beginning of this hunt. Dean didn't like to be distracted too much while he was working, didn't want to put someone's life in danger because he'd been busy getting laid, so Caroline had waited with baited breath in a disgusting hotel room for that damned demon to finally be found. It was exhausting, watching Dean's broody face every day and knowing that she could cheer him up so easily. But she wasn't supposed to. So when everything was said and done, she'd been fully determined to make it up to him, and she had, for the last hour. Still it was never enough.

"You swear to God, what?" Dean's hot breath tingled against her ear as his thumbs grazed the velvety skin of her stomach.

Caroline shuddered underneath him at the skilled touch of his fingers. Her hips lifted up of their own accord, tightening the small space between them. "We're going to be late. You promised Sam we would be back in an hour and it's been nearly two." Her cheeks blushed pink and warm as he drew back and their eyes met, the spark igniting instantly at just a glance. A deep growl rumbled from Dean's chest as he leaned forward, trapping Caroline between his arms as she chuckled.

"Sammy can wait." Dean whispered gruffly. He nipped lightly at her neck, teeth barely grazing skin, but Caroline tilted easily to meet him with a gasp of pleasure. He grinned, pleased with her reaction, until she planted both hands on his chest and used all of her strength to shove him to the other side of the car.

"Quit it, we have to go!" She protested, her body arguing. Dean grumbled under his breath as he twisted the key and the Impala roared to life. He drove with one hand on the wheel, the other running teasing circles on Caroline's thigh. She couldn't help but relax into his touch, as she always did. Despite their near constant teasing, the occasional argument over who had control of the radio, most of what she had found with Dean was simple. It was comforting and easy, the way she had always felt a relationship should be. Yes, there was work - every relationship has work - but more often than not, Caroline and Dean meshed together in a relaxed way, two halves of a whole.

That was, until he drove her half wild on the other side of the car, grinning that smirk that always seemed to send her hormones into overdrive. The moonlight scattering through the trees lit him up with an eerie glow. His concentration was only somewhat on the road, more than a little distracted glancing sideways to Caroline. The crooked smirk deepened as their eyes clicked together, holding for a full second. Caroline was busy drinking him in, capturing the sight of every worry-caused line that crinkled at his eyes, the slight bump left from a broken nose, the softest hint of stubble along his jaw, all the things she loved, all the things that made Dean, Dean.

She didn't hear the squealing of rubber against wet pavement. For a fraction of a second, Dean's face was illuminated by a new brighter light, throwing him into sharp relief in the darkened car. She saw the fear-stricken look in his eyes, and instantly concerned, opened her mouth to ask what was wrong.

Then everything was crushed, pain, the rusty taste of blood in her mouth. Something sharp against her head. More pain. A scream. Black.

* * *

Dean awoke with an ache throbbing behind his temple. His eyelashes seemed glued together as they slowly flickered open. Darkness surrounded him, the crackling sound of an old Metallica tape somehow still popping from the speakers. "The hell…" His voice was gruff, the dry taste in his mouth making it difficult to speak. A drop of blood dripped from his cheek to his hand as Dean shoved at the inflated airbag that pressed against his chest.

The flickering realization was almost instant, yet he hated himself for not having had it before. Caroline. Pain shot through his neck and down his spine as Dean tilted his head in her direction. The darkness was so thick and heavy that he could barely make out the shape of her. A streetlight cast a halo-like glow onto her blonde hair. She was so still. Dean ignored the stinging pain up his shoulder as he reached for the girl, gently shaking her arm. Her head flopped back from the airbag, and Dean could see the long gash across her face, dripping red.

He'd so many terrible things in his lifetime, things that most people couldn't stomach. And he considered himself strong for having done that, for never losing his cool over some monster or a little bit of gore. You killed a few demons in your life, he figured, hell, you could do just about anything.

But the sight of an unconscious Caroline sent him reeling. Bile built in the back of his throat, and he was only just able to push it aside, overridden by the terror. They said fear was crippling, paralyzing, but he felt anything but. He could barely feel the pain anymore as he leaned down over her, yanking the seat belt that held Caroline to the car and quickly scooped her up. Her body was limp and heavy as he kicked open the driver's door and stumbled out into the grass. There were sounds still, the tape playing, and some voice that was screaming at him, but he couldn't hear anything past the sound of Caroline's labored breathing.

Placing her gently on the ground, Dean grasped her face in both hands, now sticky with blood. "Baby? Baby, can you hear me?" His voice sounded wrong, panicked, scared. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been this scared before. "Caroline, you gotta… You have to wake up, baby." Her eyes stayed closed, her face still angelically peaceful, even as a siren call rent through the air.

"Sir, you have to let us through." Dean was still yelling at her, telling her to wake up, damnit, when a hand on his shoulder stopped him. He almost flipped the guy over onto his back on pure instinct alone, but glanced up just in time to see a paramedic with a worried expression. "You need to let us help her."

Dean nodded hazily as Caroline was lifted out of his arms and moved onto a stretcher. He began to stand up, intending to follow wherever they took her, when he was hit by an overwhelming dizziness. "Care, you gotta… You have to… Wake up." The words slipped from his lips just as the ground rushed up to meet him.


	2. Chapter 2: Sleeping Beauty

"There was some internal bleeding," The soft voice of the doctor standing nearby was gentle and soothing, a soft let-down that for words that no one wanted to hear. She'd probably muttered similar statements thousands of times, but the news was still heartbreaking to those who received it. Usually there was crying, screaming, fighting, pleading even. Always a reaction of some kind. But the words seemed to flow in one of Dean Winchester's ears and out the other. His face remained completely still, blank as a new canvas. He was almost in a trance by Caroline's bedside, staring at the girl as if he could simply will her back to health with the power of his gaze. "They're going to do everything they can, but Miss Forbes is in critical condition at the moment. I'll be sure to let you know if there are any changes." The nurse dropped her voice to a whisper as she looked at the three inhabitants of the small hospital room, the ones who had taken up permanent residence for the past twenty-four hours.

Caroline Forbes lay motionless in the bed, more still and pale than she had ever been in her life. The synthetic lights overhead shone down on her, flickering like the beat of her faint pulse. A butterfly stitch just above her eyebrow seemed to be the only visible reminder of the accident itself, for Caroline looked more as if she had simply fallen asleep after a long day, watching a movie and resting against Dean's shoulder. Her face was peaceful, beautiful blue eyes drifted closed. There was no sign that she was in any pain or feeling any discomfort. Various tubes and equipment were strung up around her on each side, beeping and flashing, like there was some sort of reassurance to be found in their presence. As long as the machines were beeping, she was alive. As long as the heart line continued it's steady up-down-up-down, she wasn't dead.

Dean didn't believe it, though. Machines were like robots; they didn't know anything. She wasn't Caroline if she wasn't next to him, grinning cheekily and flipping her hair. She wasn't Caroline if she wasn't annoying him about his bad music taste, sliding her hand up his thigh, whispering something dirty in his ear. The girl in front of him looked a lot like the girl he'd loved with everything, but it wasn't her. For all Dean could see, it was just the corpse she was leaving behind.

Sam sat across the room, rubbing idly at the back of his neck. He was finding it just as difficult to look away from Caroline, the girl he'd taken to thinking of as a little sister. He couldn't see the way that Dean had fallen head over heels for the girl and not grown fond of her himself. He'd witnessed first hand how Caroline had stepped into Dean's life and twisted everything upside down, filling in so seamlessly that empty spot Dean denied existed. She was the one able to make his brother laugh after long painful days, who held him when he lost all sense of hope. Sam could care about her forever on that basis alone. As long as Caroline was what was good for Dean, Sam would stand by and do anything for her. Except now, when there was nothing to be done.

"Dean, you should probably..." Sam trailed off as he glanced up at his older brother, who was hunched in a chair by the bed, his head draped over Caroline's hand. "They said you could have a concussion, Dean. Maybe you could just try to rest for a bit." Even as he said the words, he knew they were nearly pointless. Dean would not be moved from Caroline's side unless he was moved by force.

" 'M fine." The first words he'd said in hours were dry and clipped. "I'm not leavin'." Of course he wasn't. Since the moment Dean had first woken from a brief period of unconsciousness, he'd been asking consistently about Caroline. When the doctors reluctantly agreed to let him see her, they had found out the hard way about his stubborn streak. He certainly wasn't going to let a possible concussion keep him from his girl.

Sam nodded reluctantly. After a long moment of stillness, he broke the silence again. "She's gonna wake up, Dean." Sam sounded completely sure of himself, confident, but he'd been a skilled liar since he was a kid. It was easy to sound convincing, even to convince yourself, but there were always people who called you out on your bullshit without a second thought about it. As Dean met Sam's eyes, he raised one eyebrow in a questioning manner, saying what he couldn't put words to.

But what if she doesn't?

* * *

It was the only thing he could speak, the worst fear consuming his mind like a raging fire. It didn't take long to catch on, to burn down his defenses. Either Caroline was going to wake up, or she wouldn't, and it seemed that there was a fifty percent chance for each. But Dean's odds had never been good. Luck was not a trait in the Winchester family. No, you saw what you want, what you needed, and so you made it happen. You didn't rely on coicidence, you fought for what you wanted. No one was going to give you anything. You had to take it for yourself.

There had always been something different about Caroline, since the very first time they met. Maybe it was the way she smiled, or how she'd teased him for his cheesy pick-up line. She didn't take him too seriously, but neither did she jump straight into his bed. That was one of the reasons he'd come back after her again. The first time he'd seen that little twinkle in her eyes, he was hooked, bait line and sinker. He'd never believed in the chick-flick things like soul mates, but the way that Caroline made him feel was unlike any other. He never wanted to let her go.

He'd always loved the fight in her, too. She was known to be just as stubborn as him on occasions, and he'd personally seen her face down monsters twice her size without batting an eye. Despite all that, he still had those macho man impulses. He wanted to rescue her, to be some kind of knight in shining armor. Her savior. And yet, he had still never hoped to have such a chance to prove his devotion.

"I can't take that chance, Sammy." The use of Sam's childish nickname caused him to flinch, but Dean didn't even notice. "I can't just sit here and wait, wait for her to open her eyes. I'm not gonna do it." He shook his head firmly, feeling the weight of fear lingering.

From the corner of his eyes, Dean could just make out Sam's conflicted expression. He had a feeling that his brother hadn't made the connection yet. The hunt had been a while back when they tracked her down, and it was truly the last plea of a desperate person. Sam, not being hopelessly in love with a girl dying, had certainly settled into his seat, content with a long wait. Dean, on the other hand, was already making plans. Contingency plans, the voice in his head whispered hauntingly, but he ignored it. He had long ago made up his mind.

There was only one thing to be done. One thing he could do. It wouldn't be easy, be damned near impossible, but hadn't he said he would do anything for her? Hadn't he promised Caroline that a hundred times? He could nearly feel her head resting on his chest, her body curled up against his side. Her glistening blonde hair would smell like strawberry shampoo. HE wouldn't even be paying attention to her, probably, more focused on the game on TV untils he spoke. "Dean?"

"Huh?'

"Tell me you love me." She would turn to him, making sure their eyes locked together as she waited for the words he'd said dozens of times before. But she always wanted to hear it again, wanted reassurance that he loved her always.

That was when he first caught sight of the darkness in her eyes. She hid it so well, behind her perky smile and sunshine attitude. It was only when she let her guard down that she opened herself up to reveal the imperfections, the signs that deep down she was almost as scarred as he was. She was afraid and vulnerable, and all the more beautiful because of it. He found himself falling in love with her all over again.

The words that used to be so hard to say, even to his father, his brother, the other people he would've given his life for... Under the influence of Caroline, they felt as natural as breathing. "I love you, Caroline Forbes. I'd do anything for you. And don't you forget it."

She'd sigh, some kind of dreamy romantic noise he thought girls only made in movies, and lean back against his shoulder. Everything would be right again.

Which was exactly why he had to do this. He'd promised, given her his word. A Winchester didn't go back on their word. A promise made was a promise kept.

He waited stoically beside the hospital bed for the next hours, until night fall slowly began to darken the room. When Sam offered to go down to the cafeteria to grab them some food, Dean had nodded his consent silently and waited for his brother to leave the room. He knew that Sam wouldn't be gone long. He had to move fast, now.

Dean moved back over Caroline's bed, leaning in close to gently brush her hair back from her face. "Care, I gotta go for a while, baby. Sam's gonna stay here and watch you. Everything's gonna be okay." It was a weak promise, one he wasn't sure he could make. But if she could hear him, she needed to know that he was doing everything he could to make sure she was going to open her eyes again. He placed a soft kiss against her lips, and for a moment there was a part of him that remembered the fairy tales he'd seen on television. True love's kiss, or something, and maybe she'd wake up. He hovered above her for a moment, staring and waiting, but nothing happened. Nothing changed.

What he wouldn't give just to see her wake up. Even to have her screaming at him, telling him not to be such an obnoxious pig or some crap. He wanted to see her eyes widen in exasperation, hear that sigh from the back of her throat that told him she would've killed him already if she didn't love him so damn much. He wanted to feel that dip in her spine where his hand rested so easily, the spaces between her fingers where his filled in the gaps. He wanted her alive, beside him. If she blamed him for the accident, if she hated him for the rest of her life, if she never forgave him... None of that would matter if she would just wake up. Even if she ran away from him forever, it would be worth it just to know she was alive.


	3. Chapter 3: To See Her Smile

Chapter 3.

Dirt and gravel flew up from the ground as the tires of the black Impala swerved and pulled up in an abrupt halt. Dean slammed the door as he got out, surveying the landscape around him with a quick glance that happened automatically. The sun was starting to set with a blood red streak across the sky, dipping down behind mountains in the distance. Not a single movement caught his eye; the area was completely deserted. He heard the sound of coyotes howling miles away as he dropped to his knees in the middle of the road, the path forking around him in different directions like the stokes of a compass. His hands clawed at the ground beneath him, digging past the gravel that scratched his fingers raw. His chest rises and falls with great heaves, every breath looking like a labor of suffering, until he broke into the soft ground underneath. Dean reached into his leather jacket and yanked out a small metal box. Inside, a bone from a black cat, dirt from a freshly-dug grave, and an photo ID of Dean, under the alias Robert Plant. Hopefully that would do. Dean weaved a bit as he stood, feeling almost light-headed. He'd been driving for thirty hours straight, stopping only a few times for quick bathroom breaks and coffee. He couldn't waste time; it wasn't his to waste.

The seemingly eternal wait irritates his already sensitive. He was stock still, completely unmoving, looking for that first movement that indicated another presence. Each breath felt like a finger of ice reaching down through his chest and gripping his heart. Green eyes scanned the horizon as he turned three hundred and sixty degrees, waiting, waiting... With a violent kick of his boot against the road, Dean spins around again, still searching for the demon. "Damnit! C'mon!"

"Hello, Dean. Looking for me?" A lilting voice broke into his rant, a smirk evident in the sing-song tone.

"You know me?" His voice was nearly broken, his throat cracked and dry.

"Sure," the demon answered with a twisted smile. She took a step towards him, looking the man up and down without disguise. Dean did the same. A tall, beautiful brunette, curvy and sexy and confident. Exactly the type he would've loved to seduce, before Caroline. "You Winchester boys are practically famous, aren't you?" Her lips pursed together with a smug expression. Clearly she was enjoying seeing his reaction, teasing him and goading him on for no reason. He'd never been one to turn down a game, far more likely than Sam to enjoy playing with the monsters they hunted, just for the hell of it. Normally he would've risen to the occasion, had a biting remark on the tip of his tongue that might just put her in her place. But now... There wasn't any point. He didn't care about seeing her flinch, feeling like he'd won the little battle of wits. None of that mattered when there were more important things at hand. Things like Caroline's life.

Because that was all that mattered to him anymore. No matter how much he tried, he couldn't seem to care about anything else. Dean had been on the road for hours, constantly moving towards this one goal of saving her. Because as long as she was lying in that bed, only half dead and half alive, he might as well have been the same. How many times had the accident replayed in his mind now? A hundred, a thousand? And with it, the doubt. Could he have swerved out of the way? Why hadn't he been paying closer attention? What if he'd slammed on the gas? Would Caroline be nearly dead then?

Feeling the slivers of ice sliding around him again, Dean shook his head silently. He wouldn't rise to her bait. The realization that he wasn't going to play along with her little game caused the slightest of pouts to flicker across the demon's lips, though she still seemed to be enjoying herself more than she ought. She took another step closer to him, lifted her hand to drag one long-nailed finger lightly down his scruffy jawline. "How's that little girlfriend of yours, hmm? Caroline, isn't it?" Dean flinched at the name, like she'd stabbed him with a red hot poker.

Soon though, the stony quality returned to his face, emotionless. "She's dying. You know that."

"Yeah, I do." Her voice was light, hinted with the ringing tone of laughter. "Shame you can't do something about that?" One perfectly formed eyebrow rose in question as she continued to smooth her hands over his face, down to his chest.

"You can bring her back?"

"Oh, sure. I am the crossroads demon, aren't I? I can give you whatever your heart desires." She practically purred as her fingers traced the outline of his shoulders. "But I do need some incentive." Stepping back, she dropped her hands and brushed them against her black dress.

"Ten years. Ten years and you can have me."

She actually laughed this time, an airy giggle that sounded more like a child's than a demon's. "Ten years? Oh, no no no. That might work for someone ordinary, I suppose, but not you. Not Dean Winchester, the infamous hunter. Ten years simply will not do."

Dean's mind flooded with thoughts of all that they could've done in ten years. They would have a beautiful wedding, like the one Caroline deserved. No, not some cheap drive through in Vegas for his love. Buy a house, maybe in Mystic Falls, maybe not. Somewhere with a nice back yard. A damned white picket fence if that was what she wanted. They'd have kids, maybe, as many as a person could have in ten years. Little rascals, all of them. And he'd get to have them for ten whole years. Ten years, that was practically a lifetime together...

"Five years," He bartered hastily. They could shorten it, do everything a little bit faster. No reason they couldn't settle down in just a few months and have almost four years of complete happiness. But the demon shook her head, dark spiraling curls swirling around her face. She was still enjoying this, he could tell. This was her new game to play, and she was the one making the rules. Dean could only throw the dice and hope. "Three."

"No." She huffed a bit, as if his offer had actually offended her. "I'll give you one year, and one year only."

One year. 12 months. 365 days. How fast that would fly by. He'd had dreams that felt longer than a year. What all could they even do in that amount of time? Go to Disney World, get matching tattoos? It wasn't enough time, there was not enough time...

He was broken from his reverie of lost time by her interruption. "Are you sure you really want her back?" The chuckle in her voice nearly shot some life into him. The urge to punch face in was overwhelming. He wanted to scream, convince her that there was nothing he wanted more, nothing he wouldn't do. She didn't understand the urgency, the desperate need that he was consumed with, and she never would.

Instead, Dean leaned forward, grasping the dark curls in one fist and pulling her towards him. The kiss wasn't long, not even a full second at most. But it felt like an eternity when all he could think of was how different Caroline's lips were. Somehow, she always tasted just a bit like strawberries. When Dean would kiss her, she was nearly melt under his lips, come apart at the seams only to pull herself back together and surprise him by delving her tongue into his mouth. It was the sweetest surprise, kissing Caroline. Kissing the crossroads demon, however, was kissing rock, cold hard stone. There was no give and take. There was no taste of strawberries. She just wasn't Caroline.

She seemed satisfied all the same as she pulled away, the smirk she'd first appeared with returning to her face. "It's been a pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Winchester." But he was already spinning on his heels, calculating the miles and hours that separated him from Caroline. Her hand reached out with a movement that was faster than humanly possible, latching onto his arm with a firm strength that held him back. "Wait."

Dean's chest was heaving with each breath. It was like he'd been drowning underwater and just popped back up to the surface, finally taking back in that first life-holding breath of oxygen. "What?"

"You can't get your way out of this, you know. You try to wiggle your way out of this deal, and it will all go back to the way it was before." The cold tone sent a shiver down his spine. "oh, You'll still go to hell," she seemed unnecessarily excited by this prospect."Buy your sweet little Caroline..." There was an extended pause, lengthening the moment to what he knew was coming. "She'll be dead."

The ice water that ran through his veins caused him to jerk his arm from her hand, sprinting off towards the Impala parked a few feet away. He didn't even pause as he got in and started the car, burning rubber as he spun back onto the road.

If she had asked, he would've gone to hell that night just for one last look at Caroline's smile.


	4. Chapter 4: Vanishing Acts

Caroline didn't wake up as much as she was suddenly awake. Her mouth felt crispy dry, chest aching with every intake of breath. A sharp pain bounced against her temple, irritated further by the brightness of the fluorescent light staring down from overhead. She cringed at the brightness, but as she lifted her arm to block the light, she was pulled to a halt by a tugging from the back of her hand. Tubes strung up from a nearby IV pole were taped to her wrist, dripping in a clear liquid that was doing nothing for the pain she was experiencing.

Caroline took a steadying breath as she leaned back against the bed. She knew she was in a hospital, that was obvious, but she couldn't remember how she had gotten there. And she was hurt, pretty bad, judging by the way every inch of her ached and burned as if she'd just been dragged out of hell. She closed her eyes and tried to remember what had happened, why she was here, why all she felt was agony...

The sudden rush of memories sent Caroline jerking upright in the bed, a rush of adrenaline shoving back the previous pain. The IV yanked out of her arm and set off a squealing alarm as she searched the room around her. A large dozing figure in the corner suddenly sprang to life, and she briefly recognized Sam before continuing her search for Dean.

He was hurt. There had been an accident. She remembered now. The car was coming so fast, so fast, then it was slamming against her, almost inside her. Everything was fuzzy and red with the haziest of memories of Dean's face floating in her mind. "Dean... Dean! Dean!" Caroline called out as she felt her heart catching in her chest. She tried to move, get out of the bed, when multiple hands landed on her body, holding her back. She glanced up hurriedly, seeing Sam and an unfamiliar nurse hovering above with worried expressions.

"Miss, you need to lay back down," the nurse insisted firmly, but Caroline shook her head with a firm determination. It was only when her weight shifted from the bed to her feet, igniting the pain of a broken limb, that Caroline stopped, whining in sudden pain. Sam's hand pressed her gently back against the bed, and she grabbed at his arm desperately as she reluctantly allowed herself to be lead back into a semi-reclining position, still prepared to jump up at a moment's notice. Her eyes darted up to meet his, gaze questioning.

"It's okay, Caroline, you're going to be-"

"Where is he? Where is Dean?" She commanded fiercely, cutting him off. The tight heaviness in her chest hadn't diminished, nor had the pain in her skull. And now she was fairly sure that her left leg was on fire, or the bone had been shattered, something, but it didn't matter because she couldn't find Dean. She had a feeling settling deep in her stomach like a rock that said if he wasn't here, wasn't right beside her, something was horribly wrong.

Sam's worried expression only reinforced her concern. "Where is he?" She demanded again, her voice growing stronger and louder as the tension grew. The nurse beside her pursed her lips in silence as she moved to check Caroline's vitals. She was clearly hovering to stay in tune with the unfolding drama, and Caroline would've snapped at her if she were feeling anything other than terrifying worry.

Sam ran a hand through his thick chocolate hair as he stared at the ground, slowly shaking his head. It took every ounce of Caroline's patience and will power to keep from screaming at him again. "I don't... I'm sure he'll be back soon," Sam finally answered, sounding hesitant. He would barely meet her eyes.

"You mean you don't know where he is?" Caroline was incredulous. Usually the brothers were so inseparable they were practically stapled to each other's sides. Dean would have to have a hell of a good reason to disappear on both of them without some kind of warning or explanation... And that was a terrifying thought. "What... What happened? Is he hurt?" Caroline heard the beeping of a monitor beside her, alerting on her increasing heart rate. She didn't need to be told; she could feel the beat thumping in her chest like a hammer, picking up speed every second.

"Miss, you need to calm down. I'm sure everything's fine..." the nurse spoke in a low comforting tone, but Caroline shrugged off the hand on her shoulder with a harsh jerk. She didn't want to be touched, not by a nurse, not by Sam. Only by Dean. How could everything be okay if she couldn't feel his arms around her?

"He..." Sam glanced wearily at the nurse, clearly weighing his words for her benefit. Just like everything else with the Winchester brothers, there was a wall of secrecy that had to be maintained, and times of crisis didn't change that code. When he finally met Caroline's eyes, she could see that all the muscles in Sam's jaw had gone tight, and his fingers clenched into fists before slowly straightening. "You were in an accident. Dean swerved, but the truck hit you hard, Care. You were unconscious for a few days..."

"I don't care about me!" Caroline cringed at Sam's expression, shocked by her outburst, and she attempted to lower her voice to a calmer state, still shoving off the gentle touches of the nurse. "Would you leave us alone, please?" She finally snapped at her.

The attendant stepped back with a thrown expression, then slowly nodded. "Yes, Miss Forbes. Your doctor will be in to see you soon." With an offended look, the nurse spun around and flew out the door.

Not feeling the slightest bit remorseful, Caroline turned back to her lover's brother. "What the hell is going on, Sam?"

The younger Winchester shook his head and sat down beside the girl on the small hospital bed, hesitantly taking her hand. "He disappeared, Care. Late, the day before yesterday. I don't know where he went."

Shock coursed through her for a moment, and Caroline could do nothing but sit and stare. When she finally managed to speak again, she sounded close to tears. "But he... He's okay, right?"

Sam nodded with some uncertainty. "He had a concussion, got a bit scraped up from the accident. But he was here sitting beside you for a day, wouldn't even move. Then he just..." Sam shrugged, clearly just as lost and confused by his brother's actions as Caroline was.

The blonde dropped her gaze from Sam's, unable to look him in the eye. Her mouth dropped open and a strangled sounding noise eeked out. She couldn't comprehend why Dean wasn't here, where he would have gone without her. The pain that she'd felt earlier was nothing compared to this sudden stab in her chest, the ache of being abandoned. She hated feeling alone, and he knew that! If anything, that should have been a reason for her to have hope of his return, but all she could do was wonder at his vanishing act. Dean's words played in her head like a broken record, over and over again without fading out. "I love you, Caroline Forbes. I'll never leave you." Then why was she here now, alone and afraid?

Suddenly unable to handle her own fear and confusion, Caroline slumped against Sam's shoulder with a heaving broken sob. In only a few moments time, she had slipped back into a less peaceful unconscious, where she dreamed of Dean's vanishing face.

* * *

**Sorry it took me so long! Reviews make me cry happy tears!**

**P.S. - Whoops, don't know how it got doubled. That's what I get for not checking over it three thousand times. Thanks for letting me know, and I think I fixed it! 3**


	5. Chapter 5: A Cold and Broken Hallelujah

_**Day 3**_

"All that matters is that you're okay." Dean's smile waned as he turned to Caroline and sat down beside the bed, taking her hand in his. It had been three long, emotional days, and even though he was usually the best at putting on a brave face, it was getting harder and harder to do.

The minute he'd returned to the hospital, he had been ambushed. First Sam, then Caroline, both equally furious, though they showed it in different ways. Sam had sulked like he'd expected, looking pissed and disapproving, but Dean was used to that. He wasn't used to how Caroline had treated him, though. She gave him the cold shoulder one minute, yelled her head off the next. And then just when he was starting to wonder how she hadn't physically exploded in rage, she would start sobbing and wrap her arms around him. He had an assortment of odd bruises, half from where she'd balled up a fist to sock him in the shoulder - she was shockingly strong, too. He'd taught her well - the other half where she had kissed his neck until the skin stained purple. Even with her outrageous mood swings, Dean was happy to let Caroline bruise him anytime.

The exhaustion was beginning to take its toll. They checked Caroline out of the hospital and moved her into Bobby's house, deserted while he worked a hunt in Vancouver. She was a difficult patient, needy and cranky. Being Caroline, she never missed an opportunity to be the center of attention. But worse than dealing with all of that was the weight of his secret lumbering on his chest. He just couldn't bring himself to tell her. She was still feeling happy to be alive, to have survived a horrible accident with no lasting consequences. The way her face lit up every time he came into the room... How was he supposed to take that from her?

Sam, however, was suspicious. He knew better than to think Dean had just disappeared to "clear his head" and miraculously reappeared only hours after Caroline waking. But the more he tried to drag the truth from his brother, the more Dean was determined to stay tight lipped.

"I am okay," Caroline answered, her fingers squeezing his as she smiled. She was laying propped up on the couch, her legs draped over Dean's lap. One was cast in plaster. "I don't know why you keep questioning me."

"I'm not questioning you, I'm just... Worried."

"Why would you be worried?"

Dean shook his head as Caroline stared at him with one eyebrow raised. "I'm not."

"You just said you were."

"I was joking."

"No, you weren't."

"Yes I was."

"No you-"

A loud thump from the kitchen interrupted their bickering as Sam came out, looking annoyed. "We're out of ice cream, Care. What do you want instead?" He was clearly frustrated at being bossed around, but Caroline was using her injuries to her advantage, and she seemed to be enjoying being the queen in charge.

"Go to the store then. Chocolate. I want the good stuff, Haagen-Dazs. Don't you skimp out on me, Sam Winchester!" She added with a finger pointed firmly in his direction. Turning back around, Caroline settled further into the couch. "Now what were we arguing about again?"

Seeing Sam's fuming look from behind Caroline, Dean fought back a smirk as he moved her feet from his lap to stand up. "Forget about it. I'll get the ice cream." He bent down to kiss Caroline's forehead before grabbing the keys and disappearing.

Sam stared with his arms crossed over his chest, watching Dean's quick escape. When he glanced at Caroline, he saw she was already pouting on the couch, her lower lip sticking out comically. He couldn't help but chuckle slightly at that, running his hands through his hair as he sat down beside her. "You feeling okay?"

"M'fine," she grumbled, looking over her shoulder at the door.

"Don't worry, he'll be back."

"Who said I was worried?"

Sam raised his hands in the universal sign for surrender, laughing softly again. "No one, sorry. Sorry." Caroline humphed as she turned back to the window, having every intent of being a waiting statue until Dean returned. It was silent for a while until Sam cleared his throat. "You know he's hiding something, Care."

"He's not." Caroline snapped quickly as she grabbed a pillow, pulling it up to her chest.

"Clearly you agree with me or you could look me in the eyes." She shook her head in protest, though she didn't look his way. "Where do you think he went, huh?"

"Sam, c'mon," Caroline said exasperatedly, tossing the pillow back down at her feet. "He just wanted to be by himself for a while. He probably thought I was going to die, you can't judge him for that." She said argumentatively.

"Nope. You don't believe that, either. I know both of you better than this. He's not talking about something, and it's driving you crazy but you're too stubborn to ask him about it."

"I'm not."

"You are."

"I'm not.

"You a- Oh no, you're not using his trick to change the subject. Whatever." Sam stood up and shook his head as he heard the Impala roaring up to the house outside. "But eventually one of you is going to crack and I want to know the truth when it happens." Unable to stand the lost look on Caroline's face, he reached over to tussle her hair before heading upstairs.

"Chocolate ice cream, the expensive shit," Dean said with a smirk as he entered and dropped a cold carton into Caroline's hands, producing two plastic spoons from his pocket. When he sat down beside her again, popping open the carton, Caroline forced a hesitant smile though the wheels in her mind spun with a heated sense of confusion as betrayal.

Part of her was still in disbelief, not just that Dean had left her, but that the entire accident had actually happened. Her memory was fuzzy and distorted, whole chunks of time completely gone. She remembered being in the Impala with Dean, his hands on her, his intoxicating smirk. But then everything went dark. Sam assured her that this was for the best, that at least she didn't remember the pain that followed. But even after the time she had awoken, things seemed hazy. The doctors had assured her that some memory loss was normal, especially after an accident as horrible as hers. She was lucky to remember as much as she did, they said, lucky just to be alive.

But she could remember clearly how she had felt when Dean was gone. Like there was some gaping wound inside her where a vital organ had been ripped out. Something that was important, something necessary to her existence, was gone. When he's returned, it was as if she were finally able to breathe again. But the fact remained that he still hadn't told her where he'd gone, and she couldn't help but wonder. They'd never been the type to keep secrets from each other, never had anything to hide. What had changed?

Without taking the offered spoon, Caroline unsteadily forced herself to her feet. Everything was still spinning a bit, spinning out from underneath her, spinning away, she thought. "Sam said you..." Her voice was soft, unsure. She caught the instant change in Dean, the way his Adam's apple jumped and his fingers tightened around the container as he set it aside. He glanced down at the floor with a quiet sigh, dragged his fingers through his hair before standing up wearily. "Where... Where did you go, Dean? What happened?" With a bit more confidence, she stepped forward and reached for him, her hand meeting the crook of his elbow. "Tell me what happened."

His reaction was instant, his arm jerking out of her reach as he finally turned away from the floor. Dean's eyes were hard, and Caroline felt the chill of his gaze send a shiver down her spine. He'd turned her away before, of course he had. He was always so afraid to admit what was going on in his head, like if he stayed that stoic, solid quiet figure she knew so well, he couldn't be hurt. As long as he shut himself down, stopped caring when she knew that he did.

All the same, something about this look was different. She could see it in the tick of his jaw, the muscles clenching with stress. His entire body was held stiff, tight. And beyond the sweet chocolate color of his eyes, there was some darkness burning in the back. With a startled gasp stifled in the back of her throat, Caroline realized she recognized that look. Fear. No, not just fear. Dean was terrified.

"Caroline. You don't want to know. Don't ask me." His voice was laced with hints of steel that would've shut most people up, but not Caroline.

Without hesitating, Caroline grabbed for his hand, wrapping her smaller fingers around his and pulling him towards her despite his clear reluctance. "Please. Tell me what happened. Just talk to me." She'd been confused before, confused and a bit anxious, but now she was scared as well. What could be so dark and horrifying that he would immediately turn so hard?

The hard look of Dean's eyes softened a bit at her touch, as it always did. She was the only person who'd ever been able to drag him out of that place he went to, that hidden corner of his mind where he could shut everything and everyone out. Caroline always appeared there like an angel showing him the way out.

His thumb rubbed mindless circles on the back of her palm as his inner voice debated telling her the truth or keeping silent. He'd nearly convinced himself that he wouldn't have to tell her, that one day she would wake up to find him gone, and that would be the end. She could hate him like he knew she would, be angry and furious, and it wouldn't matter because he'd be burning in hell. That had to be better than knowing the truth. After all, ignorance is bliss, right?

It was the way she stared at him with clear wide eyes, trusting him completely, that broke through the walls and melted them to ashes. No matter how much it would hurt, he couldn't keep it to himself anymore. Because he couldn't lie to her anymore.

"You... You were gone. Internal bleeding, they said, lots of it." He saw the confusion painted on her face. She'd known about the bleeding, known about the coma, but maybe it hasn't been quite so clear just how far gone she had been until now. There was no way for him to describe the pain, the agony he had felt seeing her like that. "You weren't gonna wake up, Care."

"But they were wrong!" She shook her head with an uncertain smile tilting her lips. "I woke up and now everything's..." Her voice trailed off as Dean just shook his head.

"No. No, you weren't going to wake up. I had to... I had to do something!" He could feel the quickening beat of his pulse, that urgency like he was living it all over again.

Caroline nearly took a step back as she stared at him. "What do you mean you had to do something?"

"That's why I left the hospital. I went to make a deal. There's a... There's this demon, the crossroads demon. She makes people deals, whatever they want. And she offered me... She could bring you back. So I took it." The words tumbled out, a confessional to admit his sins. Now just to pray to for absolution.

He could see the moment the realization hit her, like a physical force had knocked the wind out of her. Caroline stepped backwards, wobbling, and he reached out to steady her carefully. Her free hand covered her mouth as if she were holding back a scream. "Dean..." His name was weak on her lips. "Dean, what did you do?" The way her face crumpled broke his already aching heart. He couldn't even answer the question, just glanced to the ground and shook his head. "You... You sold your soul?" Her voice was wrought with raw emotion, trembling and cracking. He could only manage a quick nod in response. For all the times he'd explained to her how those damned things worked and she'd pretended to be bored, apparently she had been listening after all. "How.. How long?" Caroline wouldn't meet his eyes, though he could see the tears swimming in hers.

"I got one year." A strangled sound emerged from her, and Dean could feel the grip on his arm tightening, like she were holding onto him for dear life. "I had to look out for you." He explained weakly.

Caroline grabbed his other arm and turned him towards her. She was trembling from head to toe. "Then please don't leave me, Dean," she whispered as the first tear trickled down her cheek. Caroline stepped forward to wrap her arms around him, her fingers digging into his shoulders. He grabbed her waist as tightly as he could without hurting her, wondering, for the first time, if he'd made the right decision. If the reward was worth the cost. "Please, please don't leave me..."


End file.
